Have you ever had that moment at work where you pursed your lips, cut your eyes to the side wanting to say, “But… did I ask you?” to that co-worker who is a know-it-all? Now, don’t get me wrong sometimes we want advice from our colleagues. Other times, we desperately want them to stop talking, leave us alone, and trust us to handle things on our own.
Ladies keep hope alive…
Although, we desire that they would allow us to bask in our quiet solitude and work it out. In reality, we’re more likely faced with someone who throws out suggestions left and right, distracting us from our work and making us feel like we have multiple managers…like really isn’t one boss enough?. Oh, I said that with much attitude, Girl.
Of course, most co-workers who give out unsolicited advice usually mean well. Nevertheless, maybe they’ve seen something from a previous experience, or their job might be on the line. In any case, they probably just want to help.
So, yelling at them to shut up probably wouldn’t be a good idea, nor will ignoring the situation.
Then what?
When you find that all the unsolicited advice becomes distracting, demotivating, or even rude, use these phrases to get your colleagues to respect your space and allow you to get back to work.
3 HELPFUL PHRASES
1. Start with “I respect your opinion…”
“I respect your opinion and appreciate your thoughts; however I already have a plan to…”
You’re always welcome to give the person a solid “no thanks,” but I realize how awkward it can be to shut someone down completely…especially someone you like.
But, a great alternative is to just to let them know you already have an idea in place or you’ve already hashed out the details.
Okay, okay…you may not actually have a plan, but even just showing that you’re already taking steps toward another direction makes it impossible for you to follow their advice. No, this is not a white lie, little lie, or a bare face lie. It’s just a mindful way to not use their idea.
2. Start with “I understand that worked for you…”
“I understand that worked for you, but I’m not comfortable doing [Advice]”
It’s also totally acceptable to reject advice that makes you feel uncomfortable. Your co-worker isn’t shooting out ideas just to put you in a bad place—they most likely genuinely care about you and your success.
By telling someone what you are and aren’t okay with doing, you not only shut them up, but you encourage them to give you different—and more appropriate—feedback down the road
3. Start with “I appreciate the feedback…”
“I appreciate the feedback, but we’ve actually found from research that…”
Girl, yes! It’s OK to not agree with someone’s opinions. However, if you tell them you don’t agree because their idea is stupid, that just shows you’re insensitive.
Therefore; focus on the bigger picture and why their advice wouldn’t work for your situation. Maybe, you’ve tried it before and it just didn’t perform will with your users, or your team knows that a certain strategy doesn’t fit with your goals. Use proof such as data, previous experience, and history to guide your rejection, and you’ll avoid offending the person and give them valuable context for their suggestions in the future.
4 Responses
Good pointers and needful advice.
Michael, thank you for taking the time to read this Blog Post. I hope that you find other post that will be helpful pointers in your everyday life.
I love this. At work I do a training annually on Conflict Resolution; and these are great phrases to use. Thanks for sharing!
You’re very welcome. There are so many but I just figure I would start with 3 Phrases for now. I’m so glad you were able to get something out of this that you can share. Thank you for sharing with me your thoughts.