Friendships are a necessity for living a full and enjoyable life. However, in the course of your life I’m sure you have found that it’s a good idea to let certain friendships go.
For me these friendships have dissolved with intention or others happened to just go away. Girl, we wear too many hats in our lives to continue to entertain other females foolishness. The time that it takes to support, defend, or even nurture a friendship causes us at times to hold onto a friend that really needs to just go away. Nevertheless, no matter how you end the friendship knowing when its time to do so is just as critical.
Ladies, don’t think you won’t have an internal conversation with yourself, trying to rationalize the decision you need or needed to make. Since, we are emotional creatures by nature we must acknowledge in our heart and mind that a friendship is or was over. So, as you can see this is a mental process to withdrawal from a friendship.
Y ‘all friendships are a true gift from God. I’m grateful for all the different stages and seasons of friendship I have & had in my life. Some are super close, vulnerable and life-giving. Others may be more surface-oriented, but we enjoy each other’s company, nonetheless. Unfortunately, I have experienced some that have been toxic and those individuals had a negative effect on my life and needed to be ended. At that point, I believe it was to create some space for new positive friendships.
4 Helpful signs to determine if it’s time a let go of a friendship
The Friendship is one sided
This means you put in most of the effort. You invite, call, and initiate almost everything to keep the friendship going. You deserve a friend that wants to be around you as much as you want to be around them. No relationship is completely 50/50. At the same time, you shouldn’t feel like the only one putting themselves out there.
The Friendship Stresses You Out
The 80/20 rule works in so much of our lives. When your friend brings a negative vibe 80% of the time and the other 20% is okay. They only listen, support, involve themselves, encourage, care for you & your life only 20% of the time. Then you may need to let this one go.
Trust is no longer there
Some friendships come to a harsh stop because of something that was done or said. We should all have realistic and healthy boundaries in our relationships. If someone has done something to you that you cannot move beyond in the friendship then that is the time you should let them go.
Disrespect or back-stabbing is on of those things. I believe forgiveness is always possible, but sometimes the qualities people show me are not the ones I want in a close friendship. At that point, I make a choice to step back from the friendship.
They bring no value to your live
Sometimes, all it takes is a step back to realize someone is simply not brining value to your life. I do not believe a friendship is all about what you can get from another person. There are season just for giving to other people. However, when you view the relationship as a whole and you feel the friendship only sucks the life out of you and adds nothing positive, it’s not a healthy one to continue.
I can only count a few times in my life I’ve even had to apply this. I strongly believe that when you push through the hard stuff in friendship (just like any relationship) there is so much beauty on the other side. There is a stronger bond and a deeper trust. However, I do realize there are some personalities and circumstances that are very unhealthy and require a step in the other direction.
6 Responses
Thank you for this timely on point message.. Accepting it’s over can be challenge but necessary for your mental health…
Tara, girl you are so correct that accepting can be a challenge but necessary for your mental health. I found for myself that holding on was just my fear of what others would think about my choice, but once I stopped caring about their thoughts and began making mine a priority. My world started to change drastically. Thank you for reading.
Truth!! Good Read!! It happens..
Sherri, you’re right. “It happens”. Life happens & in that life people come and people go. There is no need to chase them when they go. Women need to let go of what is not working for their mind, body and spirit. No matter the relationship. Thank you for being a supportive reader.
Happy May! I’ve had this happen twice in my life with major friendships and it’s very difficult. My circle now is small, but fierce, and I wouldn’t give them up for anything.
Chandra, it sounds like you You know your value and you desire quality over quantity. I celebrate you for loving yourself!!!!! Thank you for reading.