Let’s face it being a good friend comes with work. But, it doesn’t have to be hard. I tell my daughter consistently, there are rules to being someone’s friend, and those rules don’t always benefit you, at the time. Value is the basis behind friendships. Nevertheless, what value you each bring to the table will look and feel differently.
Here is a little snip it from a comment from one of my readers on last weeks blog post “How to Maintain Friendships During Big Life Changes”
READER T: “What value if any does a person bring to your life?”
ME: “For me people are so diverse in their gifts and abilities Therefore, their value is guided by who they are. For example, teenagers in my life are so tech savvy – they teach me quickly how to operate my new gadgets without me having to spend a lot of money or time to do so. Others in my life have wisdom from past experiences, give inspiration through prayer & biblical teachings, influence me professionally with strategies and concepts that assist me to be a better leader & business owner. And, the value small children give to me simply put is to have fun and not worry about what people think.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to appreciate those friends who stood by me through the different seasons of my life. I’ve learned my lesson too on what it means to be a good friend and the rules of engagement. Selflessness is my driving force when dealing with my sister-girl. My life could be straight flipped upside down, but if she calls me with a problem I listen to her as if nothing is going on in my life. And, just to think after dealing with her situation I gain clarity to deal with my own stuff.
How to Be a Good Friend
- Be Real: God has only made one you, so don’t try to be anyone else. A true friend will like & love you for the good, the bad & sometimes the ugly.
- Be Honest: Tell your friend the truth no matter how ugly it may seem. A true friend may get upset with you, but you will be able to come back as if nothing has happened.
- Be Loyal: I don’t care how juicy the information may be ladies, D O N O T tell your friends business. A secret is for a reason, so keep it that way.
- Be Respectful: You will not agree with everything that your girl will say or do, but respecting their decision is critical. If it seems like she has lost mind just be to help with the memory loss.
- Be There: When your BFF has a crisis, be there for her. Real friends can talk about the hard stuff too. You may not be able to solve her problem but just being there will make her feel better.
- Be Non-judgmental: Don’t put your sister girl down if you don’t agree with her. Her life isn’t yours, so allow her to make the choice that seems to make sense for her.
- Be Genuinely Happy for her: At the risk of sounding preachy, each of us will reach a milestone at different points in life. Just because your life might be a chaotic circus, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be happy for your Bestie. Being happy for her will open up parts of your life that will attract some good things.
Value is not limited by age, but instead it weaves people together to make them better than they were seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or even years ago.
Allenia Renee
4 Responses
I love this, Allenia! Such true concepts. I appreciate you starting out with the fact that being a friend takes work. I often regret the kind of friend I was as a youth. So self-serving! I have tried to make up for it in my adult friendships, and work is the name of the game. But it is so worth it!! For all the reasons you described so well💜.
JulieAnn, I really believe that a lot of people don’t realize that friendship like any other relationship that you have takes work from both parties. You’re not alone in the fact that during our youth we were so self-serving as friend. Time is a blessing because it allows us to gain wisdom if we’re open to learning. I have many associates but very few friends. I cherish each and every one of my friendships. Thank you for reading and I’m glad you enjoyed this post.
Agreed….Friendships are a necessity!! A true friendship is a roller coaster of emotions. .
Sherri, yes! Roller coasters are called a thrill ride because you can’t control what happens. It builds with excitement & at the same time it leaves you with a few calm moments. Developing a good friendship although very necessary can be at times a little scary. Building trust, allowing yourself to be vulnerable, learning to respect someone’s personality, just everything about doing something new can be exhausting. Oh, but when you confide in them for the first time and they respond non-judgmentally, when you tell them they are wrong and they don’t get up set with you or when you laugh so hard at something said. You know its all worth the ride. Friendships are those additional sisterhoods God gives you to help make life easier. Thank you for your thoughts. I would love to know what value do you find in your friendships?