“I want to come home”. These five words, expressed by your college freshman can break your heart as a parent. You’re thinking to yourself, we just dropped her off she was excited yet anxious only days ago and…now this. Yep, that HOMESICK monkey is on her back.
Your Freshman is Not Alone
Remember your child has just left everyone and everything they ever known. And, now they are living in a new room with a complete stranger. Everything that would be considered normal in their lives isn’t on campus. So, feeling homesick is a typical response for them.
In an article written by Grown & Flown the writer states, “Your freshman is not alone. According to the oldest and largest survey of college freshman, 66% of first year students reported feeling lonely or homesick.”
How Long Does Homesickness Stay Around?
At some point, I’m sure you remember feeling homesick …you can admit that this is a real feeling. You may have toughed it out or you may have just stayed sad and pitiful. Either way, you survived. However, right now your college freshman needs empathy, a listening ear, and they need to figure it out for themselves.
Feeling homesick for most freshmen can be short lived and soon forgotten. Nonetheless, you know children at times, can be considered extra with their emotions. To them this homesick feeling can be agonizing, and it can possibly last for weeks or even months. But, trust…this feeling will one day float away like a balloon in the wind.
4 Ideas to Help Your Homesick Freshman
Therefore, as parents we play a critical role in this process, too. No matter, how uncomfortable you and your freshman may feel please don’t put on your superhero cape and jump into action. Instead, suggest these to your homesick freshman to help them tough it out:
- Get out of the room and get involved: Suggest to them to participate in activities, join a club, religious group or organization that might interest them. This is the time for them to reinvent themselves. They’ll never know what new activity awaits them if they don’t leave their room.
- Talk to other people: Suggest that they talk to other people whether it is someone in their dorm, in their class, or even at the Caf. This may feel a bit awkward and uncomfortable to your freshman but a new journey calls for new actions.
- Snap chat and Instagram: Suggest to your college freshman to stay off these social media platforms. These programs only show small snippets of the day which don’t tell the real story of what is going on. And, also they should not post themselves crying & being sad either.
- Call home when they need to: Let your freshman know that you will not solve their problems, but you are there with a listening ear and a sympathetic heart because you do remember how it feels to be homesick at a time in your life.
- Care Packages: I know….like we haven’t spent enough money already getting them prepared for college. However, sending a care package whether it’s one already packaged or you put together. Receiving mail will make your freshman feel so good getting. It also let’s them know that they aren’t forgotten.
Finally…
Once more, parents just stay put when you get that tear filled call. Give it time, but if you feel that this sadness has not lifted or these feelings are keeping your freshman from performing normal daily duties. Then I would strongly suggest that they seek out help on campus from their resident adviser, department adviser, a peer counselor, or go to the student mental health center.
My daughter is in her 2nd year of college and I used all five ideas above. So, I am writing this with 100% certainty…they will figure it out.
7 Responses
While all of these suggestions are helpful, any ideas how my shy daughter can get herself to be involved? She has stated to me so many kids have formed their “friend groups” already and she feels uncomfortable when she’s asked to join them….club info and fairs haven’t started yet.
Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!!
Thank you
I would continue to encourage your daughter to give these friend groups a chance. She has to understand that if they are asking her to join them then they really want to get to know her and she should give them all a chance even if it looks liked the friendships have been solidified. They to are all getting to know each other its just that they aren’t shy. My daughter is shy and she thought that just because two people are roommates that they would be close friends. She came to realize as the months went on that You tend to get closer to someone you have a lot more in common with and this does not mean its your roommate. In her 2nd year of college, she has a core group of 5 girls she is very close with, but she has one that is not her roommate that she has developed a stronger friendship bond with and this young lady is the roommate of one of her other friends. She got these 5 friends because the asked her would she like to go eat lunch with them.
Thank you for reading and I hope this helps. The clubs are going to be a game changer for your daughter.
Thank you !!!
I will certainly use all of these tips for my God daughter who is at Winston Salem, her first time being away from home without the family. Thank you for the wonderful insight! God bless you!
Iris, I am humbled that you were able to find these tips helpful. Please keep me posted as to how your God daughter is doing on her new journey at Winston-Salem. Also, if you end up doing something not listed in this Blog Post due share, as I can add this to next year’s post.
My mom has suggested some of these tips already so I’m going to try them out !
Kiarahmworld, your mother is a wise woman. Just be sure to continue doing your part. Get involved & don’t be afraid to start a conversation with someone new everyday. Oh, yeah. And, when someone looks at you say Hello with a smile……