Ladies, here is a little something different. I have been asked by several of my followers to write a few posts about dealing with people at work. So, I figured I would put my 17 years of Human Resources Management experience to use.
As we all know even if we like our co-workers it still can be hard.
Through my career in HR I’ve tried different strategies to improve relationships or, at the very least, prevent myself from losing my religion on people.
Nevertheless, as I started my journey writing my Blog I realized that a lot of the advice I give could be applied to the workplace, too. Y’all, I don’t just give my keen sense of reading people credit for my skills regarding relationship building. Credit also must go to the 18 months of counseling I’ve had…. I’ll save that story for another blog post. However, by using my intuition and therapeutic strategies, I’m able to deal with difficult work situations with ease. So, before you let your co-workers drive you up the wall, here are three things to try.
1. Empathize with the Person’s Feelings before You Do Anything Else
You know that passive aggressive co-worker who gets on your nerves? Dealing with their behavior can be annoying!
Woo, girl! Now, I know most of us recognize that we don’t have any control over others’ moods or behavior. So, instead of getting irritated about it all the time, try to imagine why someone might be acting the way they are, identify how you would feel if you were in their position (empathize), and then validate their feelings.
Stop twisting your lips and shacking your head saying, “Yeah, right.” I’m telling you for real this can work wonders. By trying to empathize even if the person is wrong and then validating what they’re feeling. You’re better able to alter your attitude from frustration to empathy.
And, this will be a win-win interaction for both parties involved.
2. Say Clearly What You’re Thinking
Most of us, when we find ourselves in an awkward situation, we scramble to make things less awkward as quickly as possible. This may mean bending over backward to make the other person happy, with no regard for our own needs or feelings.
Next, time you find yourself in such a situation. Girl, don’t think about the negative instead think about the change you would like to see occur, why their suggestion or option isn’t working, and why your way might be better.
Then clearly and concisely make your point. Remember this doesn’t mean that they will agree. What you want to do for YOU is to at least say what you’re thinking.
As YOU become more comfortable telling people what does or doesn’t work for you, you start being more assertive. This behavior will become less scary the more you do it. I guarantee it will make your working relationships stronger and more honest.
3. Set Boundaries
If you’re a people pleaser with a serious compulsion to say “No problem!” without even thinking.
Jaclyn Westlake
As a recovering people pleaser myself I know personally that this lead to me feeling stressed out and resentful, which isn’t good for me nor was it fair to my co-workers.
Furthermore, getting comfortable with setting boundaries will make a huge difference with your work relationship balance. An example of this maybe if your boss asks you to take on a project after already assigning you several others. YOU know your plate is full. STOP and consider whether or not it’s something YOU are willing and able to take on. If it’s not, just simply say, “Thank you for considering me to work on this project, but that doesn’t work for me right now.” If it makes, sense, offer up a reason or an alternative solution. But sometimes, no just needs to mean no.
Therefore, in no way, am I suggesting that you should start saying no to every request from your boss, or setting ridiculous boundaries with your co-workers. These relationships are two-way streets, and you’ll sometimes need to bend to accommodate others.
What the Ham Sandwich….means what in the world are you asking me right now, because that sounds crazy.
Allenia Renee
I already know that many of you reading this are saying my famous line, “What the Ham Sandwich” is she saying. See, I do understand that not everyone can turn down their manager when he or she asks YOU to take on more—everyone’s boundaries will be different. But, learning and applying these strategies has made it easier for me to navigate difficult and uncomfortable situations, so I’m pretty sure that they could work for you, too.
7 Responses
OMG!! This was like watching my favorite sitcom!! Good Read!!!
The struggle can be real at times when dealing with co-workers. I know for years mine was saying, “No”. But, it isn’t heathy for anyone if employees are unhappy. So, we need to continue to set boundaries, say “No” and be clear on what we think. The show The Office always comes to mind when I see certain things in the work place because we’re all working in a sitcom at times…..LOL
Hi ! I want to thank you for this post as it resonates with my entire life right now! Your three pinpoints on how to achieve the work -life balance makes perfect sense. I am with you as a recovering people pleaser!! omg -you have to realize that you are important as well and set boundaries! Thank you for this Ms. Keep writing and inspiring!
Bossgirltalk isn’t it something how self-love fits in every situation. Setting boundaries, clearly expressing your thoughts & sometimes saying, “No” is so important for internal J O Y. You certainly have to be F E A R L E S S in doing any one of these suggestions. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me and thank you for reading.
Everything you said is the truth!!!
The struggle can certainly be real, but the T R U T H will set you free. Thank you for sharing your thoughts & reading I truly do appreciate you.
This is good encouragement for the soul, due to some work places are so uncomfortable, regardless
of what you do ! Thank you for the incite .